Gash Jiren: Man...or MACHINE?
  • Posted On: Sep 20 2003 1:14am
Attention people of The Rebel Faction! I have some rather startling news for you all. Gash Jiren, long time patron of this humble RPing message board, has turned out to be...A.I.! I know it may come as a shock to you, and some of you might not believe me. But I assure you that I have several reliable sources to back up this claim. But why is he here, some of you might ask. Who created him? I will tell you. It is none other than the Microsoft Corporation! Yes, from a certain point of view, Gash is American after all. But why would Microsoft create such a device for such a place as TRF? The answer lies within another patron of the Rebel Faction, Kas Katta! Some of you might have noticed Kas's recent promotion of the Mozilla web browser. Most of you haven't given this a second thought, but some of you have wondered why he would bother? The truth is that Kas is a Mozilla programmer, and he knows much about recent versions before they come out. Much more than most of the Mozilla staff. You see, Microsoft has long been angered at Mozilla for disrupting the use of their famed broswer, Internet Explorer. They are now determined to do whatever possible in order to shift the tide in their favor. Even if it means getting a little "dirty". The A.I., codenamed "Jiren", is here to extract information from Kas, but getting close to him or otherwise. Of course, this startling news clears up some things as well, like Jiren's strange behavior. You see, the A.I. system, while VERY advanced, still has its faults. Microsoft is careful not to let Gash get too close to anyone, lest they see the inhuman-like qualities of his speech that are normally almost impossible to pick up when a stranger to the machine. This also clears up the confusion over the word "Penis." Jiren has said it a couple times, mostly in situations that have no clear use for it. It just appears in his posts. The A.I., while incredible in design, does have some flaws. It has barely any firewalls so as not to hinder it in its duties. The average hacker isn't very concerned with what they hit as long is it affects their target in some way. Jiren's strange infuation with the word "penis" is due to hack attempts by wannabe hackers. Microsoft, while angered at the small hits, isn't about to let that stop them. So in the past they have set false "penis" hacks, just to get people here to think it is something that Canadians say regularly. That fact alone lets you know just how determined they are. This is a warning to all of you, Gash Jiren is a dangerous, dangerous...thing. Be wary of his tricks, for those unsure of the truth in my statements can still be lured in by his web of deceit. I bid you farewell, and to every, especially Kas, BE CAREFUL! I cannot stress that enough.

I need a beer....

(NOTE: I was originally going to use this as a 500 word story entry. But since that is gone now, I didn't really know what to do with it. I guess I'll just post it here anyway.)
Posts: 7745
  • Posted On: Sep 20 2003 1:25am
I bought a copy of Mandrake Linux today.
Posts: 62
  • Posted On: Sep 20 2003 2:44am
That rules! Good job. I vote for it.
  • Posted On: Sep 20 2003 5:10am
Ok, so everyone thinks I'm some big supporter of the "Gash is God movement", and that is a joke having to do with when I first came to TRF, between Gash, Hex, and me. But the fact that you would insult ANYONE as much as to call them a Microsoft product is sickening. May the Sith rip your tonsils out and feast on them.
  • Posted On: Sep 20 2003 8:48am
Right.....
Posts: 2788
  • Posted On: Sep 20 2003 7:27pm
Tell me thats not David Blane...
  • Posted On: Sep 20 2003 8:47pm
It sort of looks like Wade Robson.
  • Posted On: Sep 21 2003 9:12am
*tells you it is*
Posts: 294
  • Posted On: Sep 21 2003 9:20am
David Blane? Wasn't he that guy who was in the newspaper a few weeks ago?
  • Posted On: Sep 21 2003 10:45am
If it was when he is doing a stunt for 44 days and 44 nights over London's Bridge then yes.