INS: The Retirement of Simon Kaine
Posts: 17
  • Posted On: Sep 6 2007 12:43am
INS Exclusive

The Retirement of Simon Kaine

Hello all,

Groder Stu here in what amounts to my last piece for INS as I too am stepping down from my position as writer/editor for the Imperial News Services. Of course, you are not tuning in to listen to me babble about my retirement but you are here to get to the nitty gritty of our former Supreme Commander Simon Kaine's surprising retirement.

I would like to apologize in advance if I sound a bit sauced today as last night was the confirmation celebration of Bhindi Drayson as the new Supreme Commander of the Empire's Armed Forces. I can say that the after-celebration celebration was one for the record books as we had ships in from every protectorate not only to honor the incoming Supreme Commander but to pay homage to the departing Supreme Commander.

Prior to the celebration, I had a chance to interview Simon Kaine after his meeting with Emperor Hyfe and here are the highlights:

GS: Supreme Commander, the big question on everyone's mind is...why?

SK *chuckling*: Well, Groder, I would counter that with... why not? It was never my intention to hold the position of Supreme Commander until I die of old age.

GS *barks out laughter himself*: Old age? Is that even possible with an Imperial soldier?

SK *grinning widely*: In this day and age, it certainly is. Gone are the days of the crippled and frustrating ways of democracy where wars constantly besieged our nation. Gone are the days of incessant terrorism and so-called Civil Wars perpetrated by militants. No.. now, the Empire has settled into a new age of peace. We are powerful enough to ensure that even the thought of us using our vast strength and resources against an enemy is enough of a deterrant to keep our citizens and associated worlds safe. It was hard fought and hard won but I daresay, it has been achieved.

GS: So you feel that stepping down at the pinnacle of our power is the right thing to do?

SK: Can you think of a better time?

GS: Actually, when I think about it, no.

SK: Ever since the final re-organizing of the Imperial Occupation Zone, I have been thinking of retirement and have been closing up the numerous projects that my time as Supreme Commander has invariable collected.

GS: That frees up quite a bit of funds, I would imagine. Where's the overage going?

SK: Public programs throughout the Empire. Various social, civil and medical services are getting a nice boost. We already boast the best Health Care in the galaxy, what's a few other programs to maintain the ire of those who decry Empire?

GS: Speaking about those who decry the Empire, what are your thoughts on the speculation that Prime Minister Regrad will allow his rebellious factions to leave without punishment?

SK: Well, realistically speaking, what can he do to stop them? If these former satellites are going to continue in their independent course then Regrad will need to finesse his reconcilliation because these defections are not without their consequences to both themselves and their former loyalties. No matter how much these satellites may try to ignore such consquences, they are and will always there.

GS: How so?

SK: Well for one thing, no longer can they claim democracy is better than the Empire as a form of government. They themselves have destroyed that arguement by refusing to 'tough it out' (so to speak) in a democracy. They have shown their preferred government unstable and disunited. Of course, if that is their chosen method of governing, what can we do? But to simply say the Empire is to be mocked because we are not a democracy is downright foolish.

GS: Apparently they feel a government should allow their member worlds to come and go as they please with no apparent thought to how their actions affect others.

SK: Which is the very opposite intent of what the democratic ideal is supposed generate, ironically enough. If you are simply going to act without regard to those you consider 'outside of your association', thinking more of yourself than you do your obligations to your fellow member, then how are you ever going to succeed? The Empire acts in the best interests of the Empire, as a whole. The Empire is a defined (or set) group of worlds that does not change every week or month. That sort of stability is what makes for strong governments and commands strong support.

GS: Some might compare the Coalition to the Leage of Nations and insist that the Coalition's members have the right to leave the Coalition according to their charter.

SK *grinning*: I am not going to comment on the wisdom or lackthereof of that particular point in their charter. In any event, let us say that they do have that right. The League of Nations also has this written into their charter: that membership is also voluntary. But here is the misconception that confuses most people who don't give the situation more than a cursory thought: The League of Nations is an association of worlds. It is not a government!

That is far different that what the Coalition is presenting itself as. It is not presenting itself as a simple collection of worlds but as a government comparable, if not better (in their eyes), than the Empire. They have a House of Representatives and elections for a Prime Minister. Perhaps these rogue satellites of the Coalition considered their membership akin to a 'club of worlds' but from what we've seen, even from the Coalition's own mouth, they are a government. Therefore, logic suggests that any choice of membership given to prospective applicants into the Coalition would carry the proviso that such a choice be made perhaps every 5 to 10 years at best. This allows the government of the Coalition time to allow for transitions such changes incur. It's not a 'yeah, we decided this over the phone last night so, yeah, we aren't with the Coalition anymore.'

There is more to governing than that and if anyone tells you otherwise, that they can simply rip the bandages of obligation and government aside with just a conference call, does not take governing seriously enough to merit consideration from the more established galactic governments.

GS: So how will the Empire react to these satellite Coalition breakaways?

SK: Well, that has yet to be determined. The new Supreme Commander, in concert with the Emperor and the Imperial High Command, will determine the Empire's course in these situations and so, I say I'll know when the rest of the Empire knows. I can offer a speculation that the Empire may consider each situation on a 'case by case' basis.

GS: The Coalition may just fracture into nothing then.

SK: There is always that chance but experience has taught me not to discount the personal charisma of their Prime Minister. They may simply be trimming the fat from an bloated body and now retain the muscle of their hard-core founding members.

GS: So you think they learned their lesson?

SK: I think it has finally been impressed upon Prime Minister Regrad that a strong central government is key to any successful endeavor. I would imagine that at this very moment he and his cabinet are fine-tuning the strictures of Coalition membership to prevent this sort of anarchic disloyalty from stemming up again.

GS: And if the Coalition forgives?

SK *shrugging*: If that is their choice... *grinning* But you have to admit, the Confederation took part in poking the rancor along with their Onyxian friends but scampered off leaving their friends behind when the rancor reared its head and responded.

GS: So?

SK: So somewhere, elsewhere, in the Coalition, someome is smarting about that!

GS: Terrorism seems to be one of the realities of life nowadays. How can you declare that we have peace when, at any moment...

SK: ..we can be blown to bits by malcontents? Because every statement regarding peace and security is subjective. When the Republic, through the unanimous support of their elected officials, reorganized their failing government into something stronger, the militants who opposed the rightful government became, with their victory over Coruscant, freedom fighters and

With the New Republic's loss of Coruscant to the subsequent Sith risings and failure to stop the splintering of the galaxy, they are now, more appropriately, called: idiots. The situation is dictated by the victors. There are several organizations in the past and present with such stirring titles as Galactic Liberation Front, Sons of Liberty, etcetera, etcetera... They give all the appearances of self-righteous anger but are simply the glove over the hand of harsh self-interest.

GS: Idiot causes, run by idiots with a view to accepting idiot applicants?

SK *chuckling*: Something like that. I remember Azrael Zell mentioning something about someone called.. Mahatna.

GS *now laughing*: Yes, Indeed! Here is an excerpt of Azrael Zell on this particular subject...

*they both sat back as the audio of the previous interview came over*

GS: Moff Zell. It is said that this Mahatna, who is also called a Traveling Sage, who is also called the Red Man, has built up his legend over the years, get this, riding as a passenger on transports. There have been some claims that wherever this person goes, liberty is born. Whereever he goes, revolution follows...

AZ: That's fucking bullshit. First off, this so-called Red Man is not red. Secondly, this Mahanta, this fucking Travelling Sage is fucking seventeen years old. Who the fuck calls a seventeen year old a wise fucking sage?

Every teenager I know is a fucking dipshit!


Because they haven't experienced shit. Some think they have because their mommy or daddy died in a boating accident or were butchered by Azguardians, but if they are fucking bitching and moaning over their fucking fate at seventeen, SEVENFUCKINGTEEN! well shit... Who'd want to hang around that morose motherfucker?

A few trips on a transport and the dumbass kid thinks he's god. At thirteen the only fucking reputation you begin to build is confirmation that you're still a snot-nosed little brat! And of course, liberty is born whereever this peckerwood goes. The fact that dipshits such as this teenager can travel Imperial Space at all is a testament to the sacrifices of the men and women of our armed forces. They are the ones that should be the fucking wise sages of the galaxy, not this pencil-thin peckerwood who simply warms his backside on the freedom to fucking plant his dumbass self on a transport and not have it blown out from under him by the Sons of fucking Liberty!"

SK *laughing*: I think I will miss Zell the most. He may be as foul-mouthed as they come but damn me if he doesn't drive to the heart of a matter.

GS: There is something on the holonets nowadays about an Alliance to restore the Republic. Do you have anything to say against that?

SK: No. If several worlds outside the Empire and other galactic government desire to form an alliance and found a republican government, they are more than welcome to do so. There are several, in fact, out there.

GS: I think they mean to overthrow established governments and impose a single galactic entity over everyone..

SK: Naturally. It seems the republican ideology can only be seized by gun point, these days. Offer a reasonable, bloodless method of acheiving their goals and these people bite and hiss at you are if you are evil incarnate. No, to acheive their ends, they will steal or destroy the work of honest government laborers to make their point heard.

GS: And that point is?

SK: That they want to be the ones in power! That all the ills of the galaxy is everyone else's fault and we will all be happy in paradise if only they were in power. Mark my words, these terrorists will eventually attack someone. If not the Empire, perhaps the Coalition or Commonwealth or perhaps even the Dragon Imperium.

GS: How many bloody bodies will it take for them to acheive their 'Republic'?

SK: If a 'Republic' is really what they are after..

GS: Really? You think it's something different?

SK: Well, mind you, while this overreaching goal to reestablish the Republic is a step backward in my eyes, I wonder how committed they really are. Is it really the Republic or is it simply that they want to tear down what we, the Empire, have built? Jealous of our success? Perhaps they get a sort of pleasure in taking everything that Prime Minister Regrad is trying to hold together with his bloody talons away? I wonder... if we offered the leaders of these so-called rebellious movements... Sons of Liberty, Galactic Liberation, Alliance to Restore the Republic, Rebels Anonymous...a chance at being Emperor of the Empire, how many would, in a second and without a second thought, jump at the chance?

GS: Betray their old commitments? Betray their ideology?

SK: If given the choice to suffer at the hands of those they hate most.. perhaps the Empire? Imperium? Commonwealth? Coalition? or.. grab the highest, most powerful post in the galaxy at the moment? What do you think they would choose?


The hard road of your commitments or the easy road of your independence..

Those Coalition satellites took the easy road and, quite frankly, I think just about everyone would.

I think we are alot more alike that most admit. Some are just more successful than others.

GS: The Imperial Occupation Zone. What do you see in the future?

SK: Well that depends on the inhabitants of the Zone, past and present.

GS: What do you mean?

SK: Well, it all comes down to loyalty. The Onyxians were used to being their own masters paying only scant respect to the Coalition government. And they rode their folly to their doom.

GS: But Prime Minister Regrad said he ordered...

SK: Regrad knew that if he told the truth, that his office was pressured by one of the largest satellites in his Coalition to attack and that he had no choice but to give his blessing, the Empire would have simply smashed the Onyxians to dust. His compassion for even these wayward masses allowed their lives to be spared even though their autonomy would be stripped from them.

Those that hold fast to their roots and hold their loyalties to their homes and family strong are those that have remained. Now, all that needs to be proven is their loyalty to the Empire. The Empire is loyal to those that earn such loyalty. After years of dealing with a weak central government, it will be a shock to find that the Empire will not stand for their antics. They will learn their place within this foundation of Empire and will either emerge as a pillar of support or dust mixed in the cement. As always, the choice is theirs.

GS: But they are not citizens...

SK: There are very few places in the known galaxy where the claim, "I am an Imperial Citizen" is not met with at least intimidation. The title of citizen lends itself to certain privileges and rights and before these are handed over to a people who, just weeks ago, were trying to kill us we feel it only reasonable to ask for something in return.

Once order and security is restored. Peace will follow.

GS: And if this Mahanta shows up?

SK: Then he should probably be detained for skipping school and, at the very least, turned in to social services.

GS: Supreme Commander, it looks like the celebration ceremony is about to begin. I appreciate your time.

SK: Thank you, Groder. I have always been an admirer of your work.

Simon Kaine. The embodiment of the Empire. From relatively humble beginnings to Supreme Commander of the Empire's Armed Forces. A grateful nation is saddened to see you depart and wishes, with all its heart, that your future endeavors (whatever they may be) meet with continued success.

As the curtain falls on a successful career of Simon Kaine, the spotlight now shines and the Empire turns it's attention to the brilliance of Supreme Commander Bhindi Drayson, whose exploits in defending an empire and her citizens are all but legendary.

May she continue to support, build upon and carry over the successes of previous Imperial patriots!

Gloria Imperium!

Sidenote: It is with a sad note that I mention my resignation from INS to persue a private project of mine. After our interview, Simon Kaine personally asked me to collaborate with him on his memoirs. It is an offer I cannot refuse. Where I may be and for how long, I do not know.

So I bid my public good-bye for now

Groder Stu
Former INS Correspondent