Lone heroes can’t slay dragons. It takes an army.
People are only good at one thing.
That’s why it takes six people (all doing different jobs) to kill most anything.
You never, ever, ever change jobs. If you want to, you probably need to die.
You can be the best in the world at your job.
But so can everyone else.
And you will all do it exactly the same way.
Intelligent beings who have civilizations and languages of their own are generally evil and should be slain.
Many, if not all, wild creatures are highly aggressive and will attack on sight.
Evil is not redeemable; good is not a choice. Your morals are innate.
Killing is the only real way to gain people’s admiration.
Well, you can make stuff too, but you won’t earn the same kind of admiration.
In fact, there are only two kinds of admiration in the world, and they can be quantified.
Having a hobby will probably reduce your admiration.
All that hoorah about endangered species is like, a total exaggeration. There’s plenty of everything.
You not only can’t go home again, you probably don’t have one.
If you do, it’s mostly to store stuff, not to live in.
You never have people over.
Telepathy is normal.
Staring at someone who is talking the politest thing you can do. Because the only other option is to not look at them at all.
Running past or away from people while you are talking to them is also polite.
If you don’t keep up with the Joneses, you will never see them again. In fact, if you don’t keep up with your friends, you will never see them again either.
There are no children.
Death doesn’t really sting. Nerf, however, is incredibly painful.
There is always a demand for couriers and assassins.
Moving frequently is normal, and never going back to your old stomping grounds again is the way of things.
There are no such things as social progress or technological advancement.
In fact, evil will always be lurking at the edge of the village.
On the other hand, it will never invade.
There are no governments. Thus there are no laws. Instead, there are laws of physics.
There are gods, and they are capricious, and have way way more than ten commandments. Nobody knows how many because everyone clicked past them.
Sports are stupid, because everyone’s body is the same.
Charity is not a virtue; in fact, it’s frequently physically impossible.
You should not associate with those of lower social standing than yourself.
You can’t be in two places at once. But places can be in two places at once.
Parallel universes are obvious.
Walking is stupid.
Actually, in general, taking your time is counterproductive.
The most important thing in the world is slaying something that will be back the next day… before anyone else gets to slay it.
You should probably have entrance and résumé requirements to join your circle of friends.
Hunting is the noblest profession.
I take that back; hunting is only noble until you’re good enough to switch to murder.
Robbing the dead of indigenous cultures is how you make money.
There is no such thing as obesity.
All women are beautiful and all men are either handsome or darkly mysterious.
Somehow, this means that nobody is beautiful and there is no mystery.
There is no need for bras.
People have sex a lot.
People never touch.
Nobody reads.
They’ve never heard a brand new song.
In fact, inventing is either forbidden or impossible. Sometimes both.
Most people don’t have families.
If they do, they probably don’t have mothers and fathers, only brothers and sisters.
Nobody’s really from here, they just live here.
The tide never washes in and out.
The birds never migrate.
Strawberries are never in season.
Night’s really short.
Nothing sleeps.
Nothing dreams.
There is art and beauty in the world, but you can’t be responsible for any of it.
There is no death; there is simply a failure to show up.
Because of this, there is also rarely any mourning.
People are only good at one thing.
That’s why it takes six people (all doing different jobs) to kill most anything.
You never, ever, ever change jobs. If you want to, you probably need to die.
You can be the best in the world at your job.
But so can everyone else.
And you will all do it exactly the same way.
Intelligent beings who have civilizations and languages of their own are generally evil and should be slain.
Many, if not all, wild creatures are highly aggressive and will attack on sight.
Evil is not redeemable; good is not a choice. Your morals are innate.
Killing is the only real way to gain people’s admiration.
Well, you can make stuff too, but you won’t earn the same kind of admiration.
In fact, there are only two kinds of admiration in the world, and they can be quantified.
Having a hobby will probably reduce your admiration.
All that hoorah about endangered species is like, a total exaggeration. There’s plenty of everything.
You not only can’t go home again, you probably don’t have one.
If you do, it’s mostly to store stuff, not to live in.
You never have people over.
Telepathy is normal.
Staring at someone who is talking the politest thing you can do. Because the only other option is to not look at them at all.
Running past or away from people while you are talking to them is also polite.
If you don’t keep up with the Joneses, you will never see them again. In fact, if you don’t keep up with your friends, you will never see them again either.
There are no children.
Death doesn’t really sting. Nerf, however, is incredibly painful.
There is always a demand for couriers and assassins.
Moving frequently is normal, and never going back to your old stomping grounds again is the way of things.
There are no such things as social progress or technological advancement.
In fact, evil will always be lurking at the edge of the village.
On the other hand, it will never invade.
There are no governments. Thus there are no laws. Instead, there are laws of physics.
There are gods, and they are capricious, and have way way more than ten commandments. Nobody knows how many because everyone clicked past them.
Sports are stupid, because everyone’s body is the same.
Charity is not a virtue; in fact, it’s frequently physically impossible.
You should not associate with those of lower social standing than yourself.
You can’t be in two places at once. But places can be in two places at once.
Parallel universes are obvious.
Walking is stupid.
Actually, in general, taking your time is counterproductive.
The most important thing in the world is slaying something that will be back the next day… before anyone else gets to slay it.
You should probably have entrance and résumé requirements to join your circle of friends.
Hunting is the noblest profession.
I take that back; hunting is only noble until you’re good enough to switch to murder.
Robbing the dead of indigenous cultures is how you make money.
There is no such thing as obesity.
All women are beautiful and all men are either handsome or darkly mysterious.
Somehow, this means that nobody is beautiful and there is no mystery.
There is no need for bras.
People have sex a lot.
People never touch.
Nobody reads.
They’ve never heard a brand new song.
In fact, inventing is either forbidden or impossible. Sometimes both.
Most people don’t have families.
If they do, they probably don’t have mothers and fathers, only brothers and sisters.
Nobody’s really from here, they just live here.
The tide never washes in and out.
The birds never migrate.
Strawberries are never in season.
Night’s really short.
Nothing sleeps.
Nothing dreams.
There is art and beauty in the world, but you can’t be responsible for any of it.
There is no death; there is simply a failure to show up.
Because of this, there is also rarely any mourning.
